Wednesday, March 24, 2010

My Name is Wendy and I Have....

Day 3: 1.2 lbs. Okay. Like every other fat person in the world I want to lose 50 lbs overnight. I know that isn't feasible, reasonable or going to happen. It doesn't change the fact that is what I WANT to happen.

So far I haven't been too hungry. It takes a few days for the body to adjust on hcg to the lower calories. I didn't have an extra protein shake yesterday, but I ate a huge dinner. I am leaving the extra protein shake open for me. Any day I wake up hungry, it's an option. That is the diabetic protocol, and I figure I may have more luck that way. One day at a time though.

I have been trying to figure out how to explain what food is like for me. A few years ago a friend and I 'named' our eating disorder and really, I think it's the best description their is. I'm sure there is a real name for this, but I call it....

APATHETIC GORGISM
I know. Cool name. The basis is that I don't care how much eat or when I eat. I have no off button. When I think about it, I don't even haven an on button. I don't think I have a button at all. It's kind of like on Kirstie Allies new show. She asked someone if they had to be hungry to eat. When they said yes, she replied, "What a novel concept." It really is a novel concept for someone like me. Hunger doesn't have ANYTHING to do with food. It should but it doesn't. I learned to stop eating by people watching me pack it in. When people stare, I stop. True story.
Total Loss to Date:
3.7

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