Day 5

Well in 4 days, I've done 10 lbs.  Yesterday was only a pound....ONLY.....I am actually happy about that because the day was so crazy.   I drank enough, but completely stopped too early in the day.

I am worried about today.  I feel totally fine.  Still tired, although I slept better last night.  But for some reason, Friday is traditionally my "I quit" day.  I don't know what it is about Fridays.....

Head up, stay strong, and keep busy!   I can't let the kitchen know I've got time on my hands.....

Thursday

Still trucking along.  Not hungry AT ALL today.  In fact, I'm kind of icky feeling.  I am REALLY, REALLY tired.  I don't usually have that problem on hcg....perhaps it is the Zipfizz or maybe all of the caffeinated Crystal Light that is keeping my up ALL NIGHT LONG.  I'm going to cut back today (I didn't say stop)...I do have to make it through the day though.

Oh yeah, I had a chocolate covered strawberry last night....and 2 pieces of buttered bread and I still lost 3 lbs.....that's crazy.  I've got to figure that out......I even put Vitamin E OIL on my scars (and that's a TOTAL NO-NO!).

So I guess my body is ready to release a little bit of what I have managed to pack on.  I know this pace is unrealistic, and eventually I'm going to have to tighten the reigns....but until then............

Next.....

2 days down.  Only 5 left if I'm a wuss, 21 left if I'm tough.  Oy, what a dilemma.

I feel pretty good.  I did wake up hungry this morning, so I believe I will be slamming some green tea tablets and a zipfizz....don't knock it, it works.

I managed to get some exercise yesterday and ate less, which is probably why I had a bigger drop.  I drank a lot more water too.

Anyhoo....one day at a time.  I don't have to think about tomorrow until tomorrow.  Today is all I have to deal with.

Okay

As you can see by my handy, dandy bar I'm already moving in the right direction.  Not even close to my best first day ever, but I did eat about 1000 calories yesterday.  I am hoping to average between 750 and 1000 every day.  I know it isn't the 500 that it is supposed to be....but if I am going to do this....I gotta make it work for me.  I figure at the beginning I can afford more calories and I can cut back as I go on.  Right now I need to experience some MAJOR stomach shrinkage....baby steps...I just gotta take baby steps.

So day 2, here I come.

I've Known This Moment Was Coming

So I'm back. Again. I don't know how anyone could be sick of me yet, because I hide my head in shame when I'm not eating like I should.

But I'm starting again. With Myfitnesspal.com. I am still doing hcg, but because of overall health issues, a bit modified. I know it will slow down my loss, but I think what I want from this right now is a jump start. I am hoping to do a 21 day course. My ultimate goal is 7 days. Pathetic, I know.

But here is why I am doing it this time.

1. I feel like crap.
2. It's getting hard to get up off the couch....that just makes me sad.
3. I saw a picture of a morbidly obese woman in an electric wheelchair going to McDonalds and realized that if I didn't get things under control, that was going to be me.
4. I had some procedures done on my face and I'm still swollen enough that I can see what I will look like in about 100 lbs....
5. I'm crabby...and yes, I realize that has to do with what I am eating and putting in my body.

If you want to join Myfitnesspal and be buddies....I'm wmorgan42000. Yeah I already have it set up so you can't see what I really weigh, just my progress. That's how I roll.

So here is to day 1.

It's Coming....Oh Crap.....

The new year is coming....that means I'm going to feel compelled to do something about myself. 

Oh crap.

We (yahoo, the hubby is joining me this time) aren't going to start on New Years Day, like 95% of the world thanks to a business trip, but in the next two weeks, we will be making a decision about what we are doing and how we are doing it.

Sometimes, being a planner, sucks.

Welcome to Crazy Town

I no longer have any idea what day it is.  The stress overtook me last week and I took a couple of days off.   Then I got back on.  Then I decided I should be able to eat on Sundays....that may not be a good idea.  I'm back on track, still down....gotta stay strong.

Total down: -13

Day 7

Yesterday: -.2
Total: -12.2
Total Inches: -11.25

Got a sunburn yesterday.  My entire body is out of whack.  Swollen hands, light headed....not good.  Going to try extra protein and lots of electrolytes and see if that does the trick.

Day 6

Yesterday: -1
Total: -12

Stress does do something to the desire to eat.  It sucks out loud that's for sure.

Day 5

Yesterday: -2.2
Total: -11
Inches Total: -7.25...man....exercise is building muscle....ahhhhh, in places I don't want it.

Day 4

Yesterdays loss: 1.2
Total: 8.8

No measuring today....every other day.  I did have a piece of lasagna last night.  Yeah, it was worth it.

Day 3

Weight Lost: 7.6
Inches Lost: Measuring tomorrow

Post Script: Okay I lied. I measured today. Hey, I couldn't find the measuring tape and didn't want to make it up. I want to measure more often...I think I like inches more than pounds. Pounds I have to track daily, but inches make me happier and daily is too much for them.

So......

Inches Lost: 6.25

Back to Basic

Started over...big surprise there.  Let's just say Hell hath no fury like a mommy stressed.  So...I am going to give hcg a go again.  Still not at my all time high...but pretty dang close.

Weight Lost: 0
Inches Lost: 0

Back to the Beginning

My ten pounds are back and they brought a little friend with them.  That's okay.  I have been under so much stress, it's amazing that I don't weigh more. 

Do I have any idea what I'm doing?  Absolutely not.  Do I have any odds on my chances of success?  No not really.  My only goal is that I want my swimsuit to fit a little bit better while I am out getting second degree burns on the majority of my body.  Oh and I don't want to hear anyone else say, "Thar she blows."

I don't know why this is such a struggle for me.  And maybe it isn't any more of a struggle for me than it is for everyone else.  I know that I don't feel good....too bad that isn't enough of a motivator.  I like me, I think I'm fun...but for some reason I won't take care of me....at least not any more than the very basic of things.

Well, the adventure begins, yet again.  It's a good thing I believe in Mondays.

So Far...

Hmmmmm, maybe there is something to that whole eat less, exercise more thing.  4 lbs.  That's nice.  I don't want to get hyped because I can't afford the emotional roller coaster right now.  I need to just take things one day at a time.

Sticking to my do one good thing thing...huh?  Anyways, I did the ol' treadmill again yesterday AND mowed the lawn.  I have already been on the treadmill this morning, so today, my one good thing is going to be drinking more water.  That's good.  I just need to be near a bathroom.

Yeah...It's Tuesday

Yesterdays goal was to do one good thing for myself.  I did.  I walked on the treadmill.  YAY.  It was good to realize I actually could move again.  I think I might do it again.

I didn't weigh this morning, I never do on piano days.  When you get up at 6 to wake up two unwilling children to get to piano lessons...it doesn't really allow for something as simple as weighing.

But I am going to do one good thing for me today too.  One good thing.  I think I'm worth that.

I Don't Know If You Noticed...but....

I haven't got the faintest idea what I'm doing.  For such a know it all, I really suck at knowing it.

Today I am trying again.  And if you haven't picked up on the theme, I am totally a Monday person, which is why I always try and start everything on Monday.  I don't know what I am doing.  I don't think I ever have. 

Today, my focus is today.  I just want to make good health/food choices today.  Tomorrow isn't even a consideration.  So I am going to try and go and do daily posts again.  It's just the idea of return and report.  It's a good idea...I just need to follow through.  So one day at a time.

One good health choice today. Just one....

Oh, and yes I did gain back my favorite ten lbs...

It's Begun...Again

I'm trying to sort out my issues...with food.  And since EVERYTHING in  my life is tied to food, I suppose that means my life.  But now that one of my kids has been diagnosed with food allergies, it has completely messed things up.

So I am not weighing, I am not measuring.  I am making this about better choices, and feeling better.  Sheesh...we'll see how that goes.

No Illusions

Well, I did work out yesterday...not today, but the day ain't over yet.

I am trying to figure out if I am going to be the funny, fat friend forever or if I really have the schmootz in me to be healthy.  I don't want to be skinny.  I just want to be healthy.

My goal for this week was just to exercise and considering it's 8:20, maybe I should light a fire under my bum.  I am so conflicted about everything.  Thin and healthy or fat and satisfied...ain't that a quandry?

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack

Depressed, but back. (sigh)

I can't do hcg right now. I just can't. I don't know how other people feel about it and deal with it, but I have to have a certain amount of calm in my life in order to focus so hard on food and choices. Yeah, I'm a food loser. I know that.

I have decided that my main focus right now is getting active again. I'm going to start exercising. EVERY DAY...except Sunday. That's my day off.

And I was incredibly inspired by Jennifer Hudson and I am going to try and break the co-dependent cycle I have with food. I have to change my mind-set from "live to eat" to "eat to live". I have to. I'm killing myself. I can tell that my yo-yoing is doing damage. And whether or not it is doing damage physically...it is doing damage psychologically.

And While the scale is the ultimate judge, jury and executioner...I'm am changing my tactics a little bit.

Goal #1: Going down a level on Wii fit. And with any luck, that means that the Board won't sound like it's going to die every single time I stand on it. I think that is a good goal.

I'm taking baby steps. I'm going to teach myself that I don't have to reward myself with food NOR do I have to take out my stress, anger or whatever else on myself with food either. Food is fuel...I'm not a squirrel and I don't have to store up for the winter.

Okay Monday, I'm winning today...sorry about yer bad luck.